Force Realist Academy
You must be at least 19 years of age to join Force Realist Academy.

The bully

Page 3 of 3 Previous  1, 2, 3

Go down

Re: The bully

Post by Micheal on Tue Jan 23, 2018 3:00 pm

You take more responsibility then you should for that which you could not control.  Strength is not in beating yourself up for what has happened but admitting that a thing happened.

You should have been better and more aware?

I get on my students in the dojo when they start getting to lax.  One of the points I make is that in doing exercises, they are not prepping for walking out of that door in 10 minutes but are preparing for walking out that door a month from now and what will happen in 10 minutes will be due to what you did a month ago.

Looking backwards will only help you to beat yourself down.  Looking forward will keep it form happening again.

You have two of the most important, personal perception and a voice.  To avoid being taken advantage of is utilizing those.

I hope you learn though to practice for a future where such is no longer a possibility.

Beating yourself up now just lowers your self perception of yourself... and makes you more of a target.

_________________
"To find out who rules over you, simply find out who you cannot criticize" - Voltaire
avatar
Micheal
Light Head of Aspect
Light Head of Aspect

Posts : 334
Points : 491
Reputation : 33
Join date : 2017-09-05
Age : 47

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: The bully

Post by Manu on Tue Jan 23, 2018 7:34 pm

VixensVengeance wrote:As a result I find myself unable to trust anyone in that position of authority over me. Probably a big part of my running around all over these boards and acting like an idiot. Pretending not to care is easy, it relieves me of any responsibility. But I do care, however, I cant allow myself to show it because that means I have to give that power over to someone else. The internet is easy, because you get to hide behind a keyboard, but what does that really get me? not much probably. In the mean time I wonder if anyone is worthy of both my admiration and my trust. This is not anyone's fault though... just mine.

I don't understand. You claim pretending not to care relieves you of responsibility, but allowing yourself to show you do also does the same?

_________________
"One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious." - C.G. Jung
avatar
Manu
Dark Knight
Dark Knight

Posts : 119
Points : 162
Reputation : 23
Join date : 2017-09-02

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: The bully

Post by VixensVengeance on Wed Jan 24, 2018 8:28 am

Magnus wrote:
VixensVengeance wrote:As a result I find myself unable to trust anyone in that position of authority over me. Probably a big part of my running around all over these boards and acting like an idiot. Pretending not to care is easy, it relieves me of any responsibility. But I do care, however, I cant allow myself to show it because that means I have to give that power over to someone else. The internet is easy, because you get to hide behind a keyboard, but what does that really get me? not much probably. In the mean time I wonder if anyone is worthy of both my admiration and my trust. This is not anyone's fault though... just mine.

I don't understand. You claim pretending not to care relieves you of responsibility, but allowing yourself to show you do also does the same?


How did you get that out of my writing?

_________________
If what you confront does not kill you, it will make you stronger, unless you confront an Alien. An alien will just kill you...
avatar
VixensVengeance
Dark Initiate
Dark Initiate

Posts : 255
Points : 272
Reputation : 7
Join date : 2017-09-23
Age : 43

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: The bully

Post by Micheal on Wed Jan 24, 2018 8:34 am

I think his wording is off, he is telling you that both lead to the same thing.

_________________
"To find out who rules over you, simply find out who you cannot criticize" - Voltaire
avatar
Micheal
Light Head of Aspect
Light Head of Aspect

Posts : 334
Points : 491
Reputation : 33
Join date : 2017-09-05
Age : 47

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: The bully

Post by VixensVengeance on Wed Jan 24, 2018 8:57 am

How does that work?

_________________
If what you confront does not kill you, it will make you stronger, unless you confront an Alien. An alien will just kill you...
avatar
VixensVengeance
Dark Initiate
Dark Initiate

Posts : 255
Points : 272
Reputation : 7
Join date : 2017-09-23
Age : 43

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: The bully

Post by Micheal on Wed Jan 24, 2018 10:00 am

I said it earlier, you take more responsibility then what you should control.

You give, you are not responsible for how another receives such.  You are only responsible for your intent and desired outcome.

The problem is only if your intent and/or desired outcome changes.

Situations of course alter this, nothing can be considered really cut and dry.

_________________
"To find out who rules over you, simply find out who you cannot criticize" - Voltaire
avatar
Micheal
Light Head of Aspect
Light Head of Aspect

Posts : 334
Points : 491
Reputation : 33
Join date : 2017-09-05
Age : 47

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: The bully

Post by Manu on Wed Jan 24, 2018 10:15 am

VixensVengeance wrote:
Magnus wrote:
VixensVengeance wrote:As a result I find myself unable to trust anyone in that position of authority over me. Probably a big part of my running around all over these boards and acting like an idiot. Pretending not to care is easy, it relieves me of any responsibility. But I do care, however, I cant allow myself to show it because that means I have to give that power over to someone else. The internet is easy, because you get to hide behind a keyboard, but what does that really get me? not much probably. In the mean time I wonder if anyone is worthy of both my admiration and my trust. This is not anyone's fault though... just mine.

I don't understand. You claim pretending not to care relieves you of responsibility, but allowing yourself to show you do also does the same?


How did you get that out of my writing?

I think I was horribly unclear. Apologies.

The happy, fun, anything goes VV that doesn't care avoids being accountable (to herself? or to others?) for her true feelings being expressed. The same VV feels no one has power over her because she doesn't deposit trust in anyone.

As a consequence, VV cannot properly connect with anyone else on a deeper level, because relationships are quid pro quo, and no one exposes their vulnerability to someone who will not do the same. Because of this lack of connection, VV has no power (influence) at all, not over others, not over others' impressions of her, and not even over herself.

Unless you count repression as a power. I guess it is, of sorts, as it has no doubt been useful as a whiplash reaction to the abuse of former bullies.

I'm not sure if that makes sense.

People who get in bad car accidents often will be reluctant to drive again. Their mind associates the car with the danger of crashing, and thus avoid the car to minimize the possibility of disaster. Your trust in others is your car. Anyway you can guarantee you can drive that again and not crash?

_________________
"One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious." - C.G. Jung
avatar
Manu
Dark Knight
Dark Knight

Posts : 119
Points : 162
Reputation : 23
Join date : 2017-09-02

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: The bully

Post by David on Wed Jan 24, 2018 4:08 pm

VixensVengeance wrote:A quote about the perfection of something considered by most to be a vile and evil thing. I think this is what you are getting at, David?
It's the DA, dear. It's part of what we do.


VixensVengeance wrote:If we are not our thoughts and opinions then who are we?
Did you know I get out of my chair and do a little dance everytime someone reaches that question?

I do it again (with additional pelvic thrusts, double arm pumps, and air guitar to Nazareth's Hair of the Dog) when they reach their answer. Wink

Keep going. \m/

_________________
avatar
David
Dark Head of Aspect
Dark Head of Aspect

Posts : 173
Points : 253
Reputation : 22
Join date : 2017-09-01
Age : 40
Location : Southeastern US

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: The bully

Post by David on Thu Feb 01, 2018 4:07 am

Where did the rest of this go? Several posts are gone.

_________________
avatar
David
Dark Head of Aspect
Dark Head of Aspect

Posts : 173
Points : 253
Reputation : 22
Join date : 2017-09-01
Age : 40
Location : Southeastern US

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: The bully

Post by VixensVengeance on Thu Feb 01, 2018 9:46 am

They are? I dont notice anything missing?

_________________
If what you confront does not kill you, it will make you stronger, unless you confront an Alien. An alien will just kill you...
avatar
VixensVengeance
Dark Initiate
Dark Initiate

Posts : 255
Points : 272
Reputation : 7
Join date : 2017-09-23
Age : 43

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: The bully

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Page 3 of 3 Previous  1, 2, 3

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum